”if it’s all the same, then I won’t go down that road.. & if it’s all a game.. then I won’t go down alone.”
after the smoke - night crows. video drops next week.
regardless of the last post, life goes on.. I’m still livin’, pretty blessed, got friends, my fam.. life’s pretty straight.
short post ‘cause I’m elevated.
‘ight, be easy.
It’s been a while..
can’t say I really believe in most of what I’ve written in previous posts. especially the last entry ”I wish somebody made guidelines.. on how to get up off the sidelines.”, smh.. and sadly the “Chivalry..” entry as well, but.. it is what it is.
For some reason, in the last entry I thought my luck with females couldn’t get worse.. and some have asked about my progress since the transfer to UNCC..
All I can say is, I’ve learned a lot..
One of the things I’ve learned is that the quickest way to get a female to never want to talk to you again is to ask her to chill. Apparently, “chill” and “fuck” are now synonyms.. and unfortunately, I never got the memo. That would explain why every time, I asked a female for time to hang out and get to know one another.. you know, what “chill” is actually supposed to mean.. I’d either get the subject changed, straight up denied, or ignored.
Since getting to know new females is now impossible, one day I decide to go through my old text messages and converse with ladies who happen to already be in my phone. However I soon discovered that apparently they are very quick to delete my number.
Come to think of it I can’t recall the last time I received a text message from a female actually interested in me.. shit it’s 4 months since my last physical contact with female outside of immediate family.. hug, kiss, hold hands, ect. Four to five months of an unintentional hiatus.. haha, kinda sad right.. almost starting to forget what it feels like.
Shit, why stop there, since I’m bein’ honest here.. I can’t even recall that last time I actually felt wanted by a lady…these days it seems they all want nothing to do with me.
if only I could figure out the reason..
can’t front, sometimes it feels like there’s a message tattooed somewhere on my face that reads “stay the fuck away from this nigga”.. but shit, I guess it just ain’t in the cards for me. feels like I’ve been tryin’ to have faith for so long.. startin’ to get tired.
With that said, I think it may be time to give up on this one.. this’ll most likely be my last entry on this subject. It’s definitely looking like a lost cause now.
